3 Things To Try Before Ending Your Marriage
With divorce rates as high as ever, many couples may have divorce in the back of their minds. When troubles arise in their marriage, they might be wondering if splitting up is the best solution. It is important that you take some time to think if this is something you really want--especially when you could take extra steps to try and prevent a divorce. Here are a couple things you should do before you choose to divorce your spouse.
1. Start At The Basics
Many times marriages struggle because each spouse has forgotten the simple things that keep a marriage alive. When you were courting your spouse, you probably took extra time to make them comfortable; you excitedly got yourself physically ready for your dates and so forth. But after years of marriage, these little things may have started to be set by the wayside. Instead of taking time to court each other, you get caught in the busyness of day-to-day routines. If your marriage is lacking, go back to the basics. Try starting over essentially and begin dating again. Take more time to talk, and try to get to know each other better. It may help you to fall back in love.
2. Focus On The Future, Not The Past
Another tool to try before you actually divorce is to "emotionally divorce" for a time. This doesn't mean that you don't care about them anymore; instead, you try separating emotionally and starting over. Many times the reason people consider divorce is because there is so much pain, and they feel like they need to muddle through all the past hurts and transgressions before they can love again. Once you divorce emotionally you can start to build a new relationship built on the present, rather than the past (the exception would be if there was a serious transgression or breach of trust, such as abuse or infidelity). This approach works as both spouses step away from the relationship to work on themselves and their own self-confidence, and then come back together to try again.
3. Give Yourself More Time and Seek a Professional
Many couples who were once contemplating divorce but who stayed together find that they have a healthy marriage down the road. In fact, many reported that although they were once unhappy in the marriage, within 5 years they reported a happy and fulfilling marriage. Thus, don't let one rough patch in your marriage determine the rest of your life. Give yourself time before you choose to divorce. If you can't seem to figure out your marital issues by yourself, you may want to seek out marriage counseling. A professional can act as an impartial third-party member and see the big picture.
These are just a couple things you can do to help salvage your marriage before divorcing.