How To Bring Joy Back Into Your Marriage
When couples are first married they often face the world through rose-colored glasses. Of course, it is very important to be optimistic about any relationship. However, newlyweds are sometimes not prepared for the bumps in the road that are sure to come along, especially when children are part of the mix. Whether you have been married for a short time or for many years, if you have realized that your marriage is stale and that you and your spouse are not experiencing the joy you shared when you were first married, here are some ideas that might help.
Communication Is Key - Of course, talking with one another is important, but sometimes that concept is easier said than done. People often get on the defensive when problems are brought up, or one of you might literally walk away, not wanting to acknowledge that there is really a problem. One way to remedy that situation is by the written word. The great part about writing an actual letter is that you can ponder what you're going to say before you actually put it down on paper. After writing down your sentiments, read and re-read your message so that you can be sure you have said exactly what you wanted to say in a way that won't hurt or make things even worse. It's always good to start and end a message with positive words. Consider delivering your message in an envelope with chocolate kisses glued onto it. That sends a positive message even before the letter is read! And, don't forget to ask for a reply.
A Change Of Scenery - Even if it sounds simplistic, the two of you might just need to get away from your busy lives. No matter how much you love your children, taking time to have a new honeymoon by yourselves is great medicine. Think about surprising your spouse by packing his or her bags and having a destination in mind. Or, if your spouse loves the anticipation of a special event, consider planning a trip together. If funds are tight, consider camping. Even if you've never done that before, just being in nature away from the hustle and bustle of your daily routine is a welcome and romantic break.
Addressing Serious Issues - If you have tried all the typical remedies and you realize that you need something bigger, consider getting professional help. Perhaps one of you is addicted to drugs, alcohol, pornography, shopping, or gambling. These are serious problems that need the help of experienced professionals. Even if your spouse won't attend sessions with you, it is helpful to get started. The counselor will have the expertise to know how to bring your spouse so that you can get help together. Your ecclesiastic leader may be licensed to counsel you. If not, he or she will certainly be able to recommend a counselor like Headwaters Counseling who specializes in couples counseling.
If they are not out already, think about putting pictures of the two of you together in frames and placing them in strategic places around your house. They will surely be a reminder that you have something sweet that is worth saving.